No one gets through life without being hurt by another person. We all have experienced the pain of a thoughtless remark, gossip, or lie. If you have experienced an unhappy marriage, the devastation of infidelity, or suffered physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, you know what it feels like to be hurt. When you are offended or disappointed by others and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root.
Characterized by an unforgiving spirit and negative, critical attitudes, bitterness and resentment are sinful and self-defeating. They will color both your conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. It is sometimes tempting to hold on to these feelings and build a wall of safety around yourself. After all, in the world’s opinion, you are probably justified to have these feelings. But allowed to fester, they will destroy and kill (Galatians 5:19-21).
What Causes Bitterness and Resentments?
Resentment results from burying our hurts. If resentments are then suppressed, left to decay, they cause bitterness, anger, frustration, and depression. Some of us actually become addicted to our resentments. Even after we accept the Lord as our Savior and try to follow His will for us in other areas of our life, we can wrongly choose to run on the energy we derive from continually stirring the coals of resentment – keeping past hurts and hatred alive long after the events that caused them. But experience tells us that what we don’t talk out creatively, we act out destructively.
Bitterness is a spiritual malignancy that makes a person extremely vulnerable to unwise decisions and destructive thought patterns that infiltrate and affect our bodies as well as our souls. It may aggravate or even cause physical problems. You can be affected mentally, spiritually and otherwise. Your relationships will always suffer.
God can free you from this sin. It is an oppressive and destructive emotion having its root in hate, which is likened to murder. You must repent. No one can have peace and happiness with such emotions tearing at him.
Forgiveness – God’s Prescription for Healing
God forgives and forgets sin. However, you may have made your best effort to forgive and forget and find that you cannot. God can help you to cleanse your memory. Instead of remembering with malice and hurt, remember with forgiveness. Then go one step further and ask God to forgive your offender. By forgiving and then asking God to forgive your offender, you release God to bless you and the other person.
When you forgive another person, you no longer allow their behavior to cause you anger, pain, bitterness, or resentment. Forgiveness breaks the cycle! It doesn’t settle all the questions of blame, justice, or fairness, but it does allow relationships to heal and possibly start over. When you choose not to forgive, you make the choice to hold on to your feelings of resentment, anger, and pain.
Such a good word - forgiveness is the key to freedom. Bless you, Marilyn
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